Noble Igwe’s Airport Stories

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I’m not a huge fan of air travel but then there are very few things you can achieve sitting in front of your computer and leaving hateful comments on blog posts.

I’ve done quite a bit of travel in the last month to qualify me as a strong member of #Skygang and I’ve learnt a lot by just standing in the queue waiting for my turn at the Lagos airport.

Noble Igwe airport hand luggage

 

I like to travel out of Lagos on Sunday morning flights. There’s just something about leaving Lagos on Sundays. You don’t have to leave home early to avoid the stupid Lagos traffic and you get to fly with the Angels singing your favorite Igbo tune beside the aircraft.

I prayed for a Sunday departure but I didn’t get that instead, I got a Friday night departure from Lagos.

The thing with leaving Lagos on Friday nights is the state of Murtala Mohammed International airport at night.

The crowd looks like the car park of a catholic church in Anambra State during Christmas with majority of the Passengers screaming, “Do you know who I am?”.

Lagos Murtala Muhammed International Airport

 

It’s such a pity that our government did not see the need to fix the air conditioning system  especially considering our very hot climatic condition.

The AC at the airport are so weak they feel like motorized hand fans and because of that, it’s almost impossible for the deodorants to mask any kind of BO for long in such an environment.

Anyway, this is not a letter to the government about how to do their job, it’s meant to be a fun read about my experience at the Lagos airport.

Have you noticed that the ground staff keeps repeating your name in order to start conversations?

Ground Staff: Noble Igwe

Nobs: Yes, please

Ground Staff: Igweeeeee

Nobs: Yes, please

Ground Staff: Won’t you pat my back?

Nobs: Hhahahahah (in your mind – Not funny, B).

Ground Staff: You are traveling.

Nobs: Yes, please (In your mind – Mba, I came to take pictures of the airport).

Ground Staff: Anything for your girl?

Nobs: Next time.

I get a bit confused with the whole long story telling and trying to have a conversation by merry-go-round before asking for money.

Why can’t they just cut the long story and ask for money from “Hello” instead of pretending that they care and changing their approach once you mention that you don’t have anything for them?

 

And then the fashion. I love airport fashion.

People travel in all sorts of attire but I have more respect for the people traveling to cold countries and who layer from head to toe from the very HOT MMIA.

It reminded me on D’banj’s  thick long red coat for his Big Brother Africa Finale performance in hot South Africa.

D'banj red coat Big Brother Finale 2014 SA

 

Have you ever seen the ladies in 6 inches heels and tight pants that can hardly walk through security struggling with hand luggage?

I’d advise very comfortable dressing before you get on a plane for a journey lasting more than an hour.

My most interesting story from my trip was of the girl traveling with her Igbo mother, who forgot her passport at home.

Igbo Mother: Chidinma, kedu passport gi?

Daughter: I’m looking for it in my bag

Igbo Mother: Which bag? This one that I can see the entire contents plus your 6 lip glosses?

Daughter: maybe it’s at ho…

She couldn’t even complete “home “when her mother slapped back the remaining part of her sentence.

Igbo mothers have “no chill”

You want to know what the daughter did? Check in next week for my Airport stories.

Love, Nobs

 

 

29 COMMENTS

  1. Funny article….
    You are right about Fridays (and Saturday nights) are the worst days for international travel. The heat na die! Hope someone responsible can sort it out quickly..

    By the way, I saw you with your camera snapping away at the BBA finals..

  2. Those tight pants and heels are my fav airport sight, especially when there is a tripping over!!! The hisses and laughter thereafter is always so Epic!!!

  3. U re spot on the heels! honestly. why wear such such shoes for a 14hour delta airline flight? yet you will seat in economy oh! You stand in the line for hours, in a stifling MMIA to get your boarding pass, then you stand in line for immigration screening, then you stand in line for the security scan, ebola scan, pulling 2 hand luggage and a hermes handbags, wearing dark shades…. why wont you trip over.

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